WTF

Seriously... What The Fuck. I don't really know any other way of putting it. Pretty much its like this. My life right now is a huge mess. I am drained in every possible way imaginable. Ok to start off my Grandpa just died and for those of you who know me. I am not that close to my family, but it is still affecting me quite badly. On top of that I am in an emotional slump where I have come to realize that those that I have come to depend on are very few. I really realize that I don't really have that many people to talk to about my problems or anything, and of those that I would they obviously can't always be there for me. This is my emotional slump. Next comes my spiritual slump. This always comes after bad things happen and believe me this is a bout the worse I have ever been in my life. I wonder about God and begin to doubt and once again there is no one I can talk to. Just to let you know, friends play a big part in my life. Then finally to top this all off I am sick. I have a flu and thats my physical slump. So pretty much I have no friends, I'm sick, and I've lost hope. Pretty much I feel like shit and theres not that much that I can do about it. What the fuck...

despair

Hopelessness. Its something each of us will experience as we try to make it on our own in this world. That feeling of everything going wrong and you don't know where to turn. Everything around you being so dark and the only light you see is that pinprick off in the distance. Where the darkness of your soul wraps around you confronting you with your worst fears. Questioning you about your life and what you're doing. If you even deserve to live or if you would be better off just killing yourself now and stop even trying because its not even worth it. What do you do when you feel like there is nothing left to do. What happens when you have no one to talk to. When you're alone surrounded by the millions of people on earth. Thats the loneliest place you can be. In the center of a crowd where no one knows your name. And yea I guess thats how I feel. Goodnite