Family is overrated

Okay all of you little boys and girls, here is the thing, i have family issues. Like seriously i don't know what it is about my family, but we are not that close. Reasons.... there are many, but it isn't everyones buisness to know about them so i'm not going to list them. Thing is that i am part of my family and whether i like it or not we are related. This being said, i am not sure what to do with them. I spend my time here in penang away from the house. Going out all the time. Just chilling with my friends. But thats me. When i get home its not like my parents talk to me. Its pretty much the same as going out because my mom doesn't cook, my dad just sits at the tv and when they do choose to talk to me its never to ask how my day went, but more like, "hey i think u should do this, and do that". Thing is that it isn't like i haven't realized what a wreak i'm in. I am constantly worried about stuff actually. Its just harder when my parents don't realize anything. I guess its my fault that I don't talk to my parents, but i also feel that they never talk to me. I hate the idea that I have to do everything like be the one who shares my problems with my parents and talks to them honestly because they don't tell me shit, and when i did this before they just talk to the rest of my family about it. makes me feel so damn stupid cause i kinda think that they will keep it to themselves. But yea just writing this out makes me feel better, but if u wanna give advice go ahead

I'll have your baby, but don't touch my hand

This is a message that I've been seeing more and more in our society. The fact that people will have a one night stand with almost anyone, but won't even consider having a relationship with them. I've long been a believer of the idea that the most intimate thing you can do with someone is to sleep with them, but as of late I have began to wonder if this is really true. I have begun to realise that a lot of us would rather have a night of wild passion, while we withhold the intimacy of a simple finger lock. Why does it seem that todays society is the opposite of society 30-40 years ago? What I mean is that sex has become such a callous thing that we are able to do it without second thought, but the idea of holding hands and showing affection in public with that same person is outrageous. Could it be that love is shown more through public affection than by hidden desire? I think it is. If someone loves you he/she shouldn't be afraid to express that love in public. For surely you are nothing to be ashamed of, right? And of course no one would have a one night stand with someone they didn't really love... Love is a very strange thing indeed.

Different Faces

I have come to realize that everyone in the world has split personalities. This comes when people have something to hide. When you have a secret that you do not want to share, and someone asks you about it, you lie to them and through this lie you have become someone else in this persons mind. The person he/she see's is still you, but it maybe isn't the you that you or someone else sees. Its strange how if you examine a person closely you will find that he/she is different to each and every one he/she meets.

Surprisingly I am no different from everyone else in this world. I have a face that I put on for each and every one of you. All of what you see is me, but there are parts of myself that I have yet to show you. Lets start shall we... First off for all of you that don't know this: I drink. Alcohol . Okay so no big surpize from most of you reading this. But I know, well maybe I don't, but I think I know that a few people will be totally shocked by this. Not like I hide this or anything for those who ask or spend enough time with me they will know I drink, but it is also not like I go up to every person I know say, "Hey I like alcohol." I am not ashamed of it and I don't believe that it is something to be ashamed of. I don't believe that anything should be shameful to say. When I say this, I am talking about stuff about yourself. Not going and telling other people some other peoples secrets. Everything that you do you shouldn't have to be ashamed of. I mean really, if the world was without sin do you think that there would be any secrets? And even with sin one should always tell the truth right? I mean shouldn't we get things out in the open so we can get rid of the sin?

Okay what is the point of my discourse? For all of those out there I want you to know that although some may call me a liar or a hypocrite or a charlatan. Know that I am not trying to be. Know that though people have differing opinions or views on me and my life all of them are somewhat true, but please try to get to know the whole story. I know it is my fault that I am not telling each and every one of you the specific details on my life or more importantly my exact beliefs and views, but I am not perfect. The best way for you to get this information is to ask. And yes I may be a little evasive, there are things in my life that I do not believe are mine to share because of other people. But ask and I will honestly try to answer all your questions. Apparently this is why I write this blog. I want to express some of my views quite openly so that those that care enough about me will know what I think.

This goes for you too Johnny. Sometimes I feel like you get angry for me for not telling you everything especially when I call you my best friend, but the thing is that if you would ask more I would tell more. I know that I haven't been the best friend I could be (this goes to all of you too), but seriously I try. More than anything I treasure the friends that I have.